


Apologies

by kara-danvers-lena-luthor (Mesk)



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: 3x18, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, One-Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-05-08 15:37:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14697177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mesk/pseuds/kara-danvers-lena-luthor
Summary: A one-shot based on episode 3x18. Kara can't stand the idea of Lena not trusting Supergirl.





	Apologies

**Author's Note:**

> A big thank you to @ lena-lipbite-luthor (on tumblr) for being my beta <3

_Supergirl went behind my back_ ; the words echoed in Kara’s mind as she floated above National City in the night sky.  _That’s something my mother would do_ ; her heart started beating faster at the sheer idea of Lena truly believing she was anything like Lillian.  _She crossed a line, and I can never trust her again_ , Kara started crying before she even realized what was going on, and at that moment she knew she needed to do something to rectify her mistake. 

Without thinking twice about it, Kara flew to Lena’s penthouse and landed quietly on the balcony. She could hear Lena walking around in her room, but she knew she was pushing it just by being there in the first place, so knocking on Lena’s bedroom window would be crossing many lines. She knocked on the balcony door instead and waited anxiously until Lena appeared in the living room.

A month ago Lena would have been delighted to see Supergirl, but now things were different; now, instead of greeting Supergirl with a smile, Lena clenched her jaw and steeled herself before opening the door. “Supergirl,” she greeted coolly, “has something happened with Sam?”

Kara missed the smile she would normally get, and she had to duck her head so she could try to contain her tears. Fidgeting with her cape, Kara simply shook her head in response.

Lena frowned at the hero’s demeanor; she had never seen Supergirl acting like that, but she wasn’t about to forget everything Supergirl had said and done to her over… whatever  _this_  was. “Are you here to accuse me of being my brother again?” Lena asked, crossing her arms and tilting her chin up.

"N-No!" Kara replied quickly, looking back up at Lena, and as she did so, a surprised little gasp escaped Lena's mouth.

“Y-You’re… you’re crying,” Lena said in complete astonishment.

Kara looked up at the skies and did her best to dry her tears, but there was no point in doing so; the more she tried to control them, the bigger the knot in her throat felt which in turn only made her want to cry harder.

“W-What’s going on?” Lena asked, her voice losing some of its harshness.

Kara bit the inside of her cheek as she looked at Lena, but she couldn’t hold her gaze; with her eyes moving fleetingly to the side, Supergirl stuttered, “Kara Danvers… s-she told me what you said to her… a-about me…”

 _Oh…_  Lena thought,  _so this is what it’s all about..._  Raising her eyebrow, she asked sarcastically, “The truth hurts, doesn’t it?”

Kara’s lip trembled – a thousand thoughts running through her head. “S-So that’s really how you feel?” she asked lowly.

Lena frowned and shrugged her shoulders, "Didn't you go behind my back and try to use my personal relationship with James to get something you wanted?" she challenged.

“I did…” Kara reluctantly conceded, “But… it was a mistake.”

“A mistake?” Lena scoffed. “A mistake is dialing a wrong number, a mistake is calling someone by the wrong name—" her voice was getting louder the more upset she got, so Lena abruptly stopped talking so she could keep herself in check. Once she was certain she could talk in a normal tone again, she continued, "What you did wasn't a mistake, it was a calculated act."

Kara didn’t want to acknowledge she could have done something so ugly; she didn't want to be  _that_  person… but that’s exactly what she had done, and she hadn’t gone over to Lena’s to lie to her. Hanging her head, Kara fidgeted with her fingers and said barely above a whisper, “I-I was scared…”

“Scared of  _what_???” Lena fired back without wasting even a second.

“Of kryptonite!” Kara replied, looking up at Lena with desperate eyes.

Lena scoffed again, and asked with disdain, “Why don’t you admit you’re scared of what  _I_  can do with kryptonite?”

Kara’s first instinct was to deny Lena’s claim, to vehemently say she wasn’t scared of her wielding kryptonite, but that wouldn’t be true. "Maybe I am…" she finally said. As the words left her mouth, Lena's eyes welled up with tears, and Kara's eyes widened as an epiphany occurred to her; it was as if up to that moment there was a storm in Kara's mind, and now the clouds were finally clearing. “But it’s not for the reason you’re thinking,” she said, giving a tentative step toward Lena, but her hurt stare made Kara stay put.

“E-Every time we find out someone has kryptonite… it elicits a knee-jerk reaction from my cousin and me,” Kara began to explain. "But we can fight kryptonite; we have friends on our side who would help us if we needed them to; so as much as I hate kryptonite, I could still fight your mom, or your brother, or anyone who wanted to use it against me…"

“Great, you have friends, I get it,” Lena spit back.

Raising her hand to try to appease her, Kara continued as calmly as she could, “What I’m trying to say is that I realize the kryptonite itself wasn’t the problem—”

“It was  _me_ , perfect, you can leave now," Lena said, interrupting Supergirl.

“Rao!” Kara balled her fists bringing them to her eyes. “That’s  _not_  what I’m trying to say! Please,” she let her hands fall to her sides and sighed, “What I’m trying to say is that I wasn’t afraid of you having kryptonite, I was afraid of losing my friend.”

Lena frowned in confusion, and Kara took the opportunity to continue explaining herself. “At first I was scared of the kryptonite, and it clouded my judgment. All the history between your brother and my cousin on top of all the stress we've been under with the Worldkillers… it brought out the worst in me, and for a second I thought I was losing you too… like Kara was losing Sam… You’re  _so_  important to me, Lena… I-I had to make sure you were telling the truth; I couldn't think straight, I needed to know I wasn't letting you slip through my fingers… and yet I started pushing you away first as if that was going to make it hurt less if I ever did lose you…”

Supergirl’s ramble barely made any sense to Lena; it was confusing, to say the least, and yet she understood the fear behind the words because she had gone through something similar with Lex. However, she wasn’t ready to admit that just yet, "We've never been that close, to begin with…" she argued weakly.

Kara tilted her head slightly, and said softly, "A few months ago you said I was a mentor to you, a friend… Was it all just a publicity stunt?"

Lena's fingers dug into her arms, and she clenched her jaw – Supergirl was right.

"We might not spend a lot of time together, but you mean more to me than you'll ever know, Lena. My fear of kryptonite combined with the fear of losing you blinded me to the fact that you'd never do anything to hurt me." Kara took a step closer to Lena, who allowed it to happen this time, and continued, "I didn't come here to make excuses, I came here to try to explain myself, but most importantly, I came here to apologize to you.” Placing a hand over her heart, Kara said earnestly, “I am deeply sorry, Lena. I don’t expect you to forgive me right away, and I know that trust takes time to rebuild. I can only hope one day you’ll accept my apology, and that you’ll allow me to show you that I do trust you.”

Lena’s instincts yelled at her to lash out, to cut ties right then and there before she could get hurt again. But she couldn't listen to those instincts; Lena knew if she did what they wanted her to, she'd end up living a miserable, lonely life, and she couldn't have that.

True to her word, Kara wasn’t going to wait for a response from Lena – that would entail expecting forgiveness right away – so she turned around to fly away, but she was stopped by Lena’s voice. “I… I accept your apology,” she said almost timidly.

The relief that washed over Kara was overwhelming, and before she knew what she was doing, she enveloped Lena in a tight embrace. Kara was so happy she almost missed Lena's surprised voice saying, "Um…Supergirl?" And Kara pulled away fast, quickly drying the happy tears that were rolling down her cheeks.

“S-Sorry,” Kara said sheepishly, with a silly little smile on her lips.

Lena’s mind was racing –  _how come Supergirl is so happy to have her forgiveness?? Why do I mean so much to her??_ – but those thoughts were filed away for later reassessment, at that very moment Lena wanted to make one thing very clear, “I forgive you, but the trust I had in you is broken. It’ll take time for us to get where we were, but if you’re willing to put in the effort, so am I.”

“I am! I—” Kara was interrupted by Lena raising her hand as a sign she hadn’t been done talking.

“But, Supergirl,” Lena said seriously; eyes staring deeply into Supergirl’s, "This was strike one, there won't be a strike two; if you break my trust again, we're done for good. Do I make myself clear?"

Biting her lip, Kara nodded in response. “I understand,” she said, “Thank you for the second chance.” With that, Kara flew away.

Lena watched Supergirl disappear into the night sky, and once the hero was gone, Lena finally allowed herself to smile. As she turned in for the night, she noticed how her heart didn’t feel nearly as heavy as it had an hour before; and with hope restored, Lena fell asleep thinking that maybe, just maybe things would really work out for the best.


End file.
